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          Overcoming a Betrayal

Susan Cohn, MFT & LCSW

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Licensed Clinical Social Worker

21710 Stevens Creek Boulevard - Suite 101

Cupertino, CA 95014-1179

(408) 257-5772

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At times, the betrayal is purely emotional; a secretive connection with someone through the Internet or at work.  

The process of a couple healing from a betrayal typically requires a lot of communication and hard work for trust to be rebuilt.

The rebuilding of the relationship may take a long time depending on the level of deception involved in the affair.  In general, the longer the deception, the longer the healing process.

The first step is when the partner, who had been unfaithful, is open about what happened and agrees to stop any connection with the other party.  .

The next step is for for both parties to examine their part in the relationship  that led to the infidelity.

This leads to open discussions about what was missing in their connection with each other and what changes need to occur so that they can rebuild a stronger foundation.

Both parties need to understand the grief process. Often the one who had the affair is grieving over a relationship that was meeting their needs at some level. Their partner is grieving over the loss of trust. Both parties need to understand that part of grieving includes not just sadness; but anger.

During the healing process it needs to be clear that part of the healing process involves transparency so that trust can be rebuilt. For a period ot time, this might mean that the partner has access to credit card bills or cell phone records

If you are involved in an affair and want to stop or are dealing with a betrayal in your relationship please feel free to contact me to explore more about how I can assist you.

Many people come into therapy because their partner has betrayed them.  

Often the betrayal comes in the form of their partner having a physical relationship with someone else, but that is not always the case.